KitchenAid Artisan Mixer...

Sooo, I have just purchased a KitchenAid Artisan Mixer. I am literally JUMPING at the thought that it will arrive in about 5-8 days. I have literally began browsing more baking pans and gadgets, because I will be baking for weeks straight!

I am sooo excited but baking=tasting=weight gain!!

Oh KitchenAid Mixer, why do you have to be so convenient!

I am seriously thinking about joining Weight Watchers. I feel like all I eat is bread and turkey when i'm on my "diet". I want to eat REAL food and be able to know how many calories are actually in them. I can't do that on my own... Any thoughts on Weight Watchers????

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

So this picture gives me mixed feelings. I would love to have a mirror like that, or at least be able to see myself like that. At the same time however, the girl in the mirror is too thin, and I honestly know I would never look like that because I am curvy. in 2007 when I was at my goal weight, I looked at myself in the mirror and truly believed I was fat. Looking back at pictures I see was thin, and looked great. Why do we do that? I believe women are born with an ability to always look at themselves as fat even if they are not. It should be classified and named as a disease...

I have definitely fallen off the wagon these past 2 weeks... I weighed myself this morning and gained 1 pound but I feel EXTREMELY bloated. I hate feeling like this and I know its because of all the crappy food Ive eaten. Ughhh Cheeseburgers how I hate you yet love you so much!!!!!

Valentines Day = Chocolate Nightmare

Why does Valentines day have to be associated with chocolate? 3 hours into my work day I am greeted by a pail of chocolate covered strawberries and a bag of Ghiradelli chocolate squares. 3 hours after that one of my preschoolers gives me a giant Hersheys Kiss. When I get home im met with a delicious box of chocolates and left over brownies. I really do appreciate all the thought and effort that went into all this chocolately goodness, but its most definitely not contributing to ANY weight loss this week or next....

My greatest fear is dying. Ever since I was old enough to understand what it meant to die, it has become my worst nightmare. I can remember being young and thinking about how one day I wont be here anymore, and I would literally cry myself to sleep because of it. Even now I still have times when thinking about death honestly disturbs me.
We put so much work and effort to create lives for ourselves and at the same time make it better for our families, friends and everyone after us. And all for what? To be remembered by immediate family and have your name written on a stone. Its just not fair. We should be able to live until we choose to go in 70 years or even 200 years.
What does all of this have to do with me losing weight? Everything. If i know i only have a certain amount of time to be young and live my life like i want, why cant i just make myself happy and stick to losing weight? I should be able to get fit and healthy and enjoy everything the 20's have to offer because i can only live my life once.