Oreo On a Stick

It's been a month + since I wrote in this thing! I had to write to RAVE about how delicious and awesome these Skinny Cow Cookies 'n Cream Truffle bar is! As I was walking up and down the aisles at Tops today, I veered into the ice cream section and what do I see?? Cookies and cream (my favorite) with chocolate drizzle AND only 110 Calories???? Ive had the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches before and they are great so without hesitating I threw it into my cart. Price $5.49. Expensive?? A tad...

So, I open the packet and I am surprised to find a perfectly sized iced cream bar! You can CLEARLY see all the bits and pieces of chocolate cookies and it looks so creamy... My first bite and it is total bliss. They are super thick, creamy, chocolaty, and SO worth it! I swear it tastes like an Oreo milkshake. It's a perfect snack and has 3g or protein and 20% of your daily calcium needs, so go ahead... dive into the deliciousness!

KitchenAid Artisan Mixer...

Sooo, I have just purchased a KitchenAid Artisan Mixer. I am literally JUMPING at the thought that it will arrive in about 5-8 days. I have literally began browsing more baking pans and gadgets, because I will be baking for weeks straight!

I am sooo excited but baking=tasting=weight gain!!

Oh KitchenAid Mixer, why do you have to be so convenient!

I am seriously thinking about joining Weight Watchers. I feel like all I eat is bread and turkey when i'm on my "diet". I want to eat REAL food and be able to know how many calories are actually in them. I can't do that on my own... Any thoughts on Weight Watchers????

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

So this picture gives me mixed feelings. I would love to have a mirror like that, or at least be able to see myself like that. At the same time however, the girl in the mirror is too thin, and I honestly know I would never look like that because I am curvy. in 2007 when I was at my goal weight, I looked at myself in the mirror and truly believed I was fat. Looking back at pictures I see was thin, and looked great. Why do we do that? I believe women are born with an ability to always look at themselves as fat even if they are not. It should be classified and named as a disease...

I have definitely fallen off the wagon these past 2 weeks... I weighed myself this morning and gained 1 pound but I feel EXTREMELY bloated. I hate feeling like this and I know its because of all the crappy food Ive eaten. Ughhh Cheeseburgers how I hate you yet love you so much!!!!!

Valentines Day = Chocolate Nightmare

Why does Valentines day have to be associated with chocolate? 3 hours into my work day I am greeted by a pail of chocolate covered strawberries and a bag of Ghiradelli chocolate squares. 3 hours after that one of my preschoolers gives me a giant Hersheys Kiss. When I get home im met with a delicious box of chocolates and left over brownies. I really do appreciate all the thought and effort that went into all this chocolately goodness, but its most definitely not contributing to ANY weight loss this week or next....

My greatest fear is dying. Ever since I was old enough to understand what it meant to die, it has become my worst nightmare. I can remember being young and thinking about how one day I wont be here anymore, and I would literally cry myself to sleep because of it. Even now I still have times when thinking about death honestly disturbs me.
We put so much work and effort to create lives for ourselves and at the same time make it better for our families, friends and everyone after us. And all for what? To be remembered by immediate family and have your name written on a stone. Its just not fair. We should be able to live until we choose to go in 70 years or even 200 years.
What does all of this have to do with me losing weight? Everything. If i know i only have a certain amount of time to be young and live my life like i want, why cant i just make myself happy and stick to losing weight? I should be able to get fit and healthy and enjoy everything the 20's have to offer because i can only live my life once.

And Im off the wagon....

So its been maybe about a month since I got my ass to the gym. Yep, there I said it. Im not proud but I am proud of the fact that in this entire month that I haven't been going, I haven't gained any weight, but actually lost 2 more pounds. Ive been falling off the wagon about once or twice a week and im very proud to say that during those times i eat what I want, but find myself checking calorie counts and at times rethinking what im about to eat. This seems crazy to me, but I guess thats the right thing to do.

As far as the gym goes, at times I think its a good thing I haven't been to the gym. After the New Year people get CRAZY and magically appear at the gym which results in lines to wait for machines. I ABSOLUTELY HATE THAT SHIT! So im hoping as I take my happy ass to the gym tomorrow, there are no lines because I will end up walking right back out...

The Holidays are a Dieter's Worst Nightmare!!

I hate Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years... not because of the holiday itself, but because of the amount of food that is always around. I have spent the last 4 weeks avoiding big meals, cookies, and treats and for some reason as soon as I come home for the holidays I can't stop myself. Why? I have no fucking idea!!! It's not even great food, so I dont know lol

Im just hoping I can stay on track since im going to be here for an entire week. And shit, there is a gym in my basement so there should be no excuse!!

Why is that motivation seems to lack when you need it most? Is it because I know this is my "vacation" and I should be relaxing? But since when did relaxing mean, become a couch potato??? I love how I feel when I run, its so freeing and de-stressing but why can't I just run here?? Why can't I get up from my couch??

Holiday + vacation= disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!